I've started to feel more and more that I need to cut myself off from the rest of humanity in order to retain my sanity. Not from the people I love and care about, but from the rest of the world. Working in the medical community, where I've experienced so much of other people's pain and suffering, has increased my desire for this just about ten-fold.
Aside from my conversations with Mr. Daniel, I've found the easiest way to do this is to move at a different speed from everyone else and make myself deaf and blind, if possible. For example, when I'm driving, I'm that car that's going ten miles below the speed limit. If you were in the car with me, we wouldn't be talking because the music would be too loud. On the days when I walk/jog my three miles, I've got the iPod in one ear, I'm whispering the lyrics, and my glasses are halfway down my nose, so I have to tilt my head up to see out of them.
Is it safe? Nope. But, let's be honest, if something bad is going to happen to me, seeing it coming isn't likely to stop it. I'm not completely oblivious, but in my head, I'm in my own space and no one can bother me. If I'm too slow for them, they can go around me. If they're too slow for me, I can go around them. If I can't see them look at me, I can pretend that they don't exist.
I need my own space. I need to be able to heal myself when I've spent the day absorbing other folk's misery. I can't always turn to Mr. Daniel because it's not good for me and sometimes it's not even legal to do so. So if cranking my music and traveling at my own pace without the benefit of my glasses gives me that healing, then just pass me if I'm in your way.
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